Fat & Funny

I can't tell whether Jonah Hill is a supremely funny dude or I'm just an extremely immature 23 year old. Either way, the rap he gets going in this teaser for 'Cyrus' is classic. In other news, the movie they're promoting looks terrible. If anything watching this has guaranteed my attendance at the next movie either of these two make (John C Reill is in it to), just not this one. It's like when chicks tell you that they 'totally want to sleep with you... just not tonight'. It's a path we've all been down, and we all know where it leads, blue balls.



Not quite sure if what I wrote above implies that Jonah Hill gave me blue balls, think of what I wrote about him and sleeping with babes separately... if you can

Go Skateboarding Day

Go Skateboarding Day is something I wrote about a couple of months back, because it's a radical idea, and that's what I do here, write about radical stuff, that's where I got the title from, see above. Yep.
Personally I went for a cheeky roll after work, which is a far weaker attempt than what was laid down by this crew in NYC. If theres something more fun than rolling around with a huge crew of likeminded fools then I'd like to know what it is, so I can do it. Choice tune for such an occasion as well.


Go Skateboarding Day NYC 2010 KR3W / CCS from KR3W DENIM on Vimeo.

Micro Pig

Long has pet selection been a tedious battle between women coo-ing over the white fluffy rat/dog and you eyeing up the proud looking german half-breed, already imagining it's explosive power on attack, the radical outfits you can get it, and the inevitable cruising (I mean that the creep way) down at the local park. Please notice how I consider the only viable pet a dog... a cat is not a pet, it's an annoying black hole of attention that would best serve as a footrest.

And until now, in man's quest for companionship, these have been our two options, but no more. I've just stumbled across perhaps the coolest idea for a pet ever that is guaranteed to you Vincent Chase quantities of ass down at the dog walk park. I'm almost too stoked for words right now. Introducing everyones new favourite household buddy, Micro Pig.

Can't you already imagine it?! The day arrives, a small, but not as small as you had imagined, box arrives at your house with an instruction 'Give him a good home'. I will, you think.

It's day 1 and you take your new little buddy for his first walk, the beginnings of a close bond between micro pig and man. Walking with your head lowered to avoid excess attention, you feel a nagging hesitation;

"What if people think this is weird, some sort of new fad? Or even worse, what if they don't think I'm worthy of owning a Micro Pig?!"

You raise your head and see a cute girl in cutoff jeans and loose guys Rolling Stones singlet standing ahead of you, mouth agape. Your heart plummets...
"OH...MY...GOD...he's so cuteeeeee"
Jackpot

Becoming a big thing in the UK, these radical fellas grow to be 12-14" tall when fully grown, about the same size as a Cocker Spaniel but infinately cooler. They are apparently really clean, can be house trained, and will apprently (and this is the best part) "sit on your lap while you watch TV so you can scratch their bellies" according to the Little Pig Farm UK.

Can you tell by my in-depth Micro Pig research that I'm half way towards a purchase? Because it's happening.

Are you feeling light-headed yet ladies? You will be.

Local Gods

At some stage during our youth we were all in the basement of a friends house sneaking beers from their dad, reading playboys, and argueing over who was better at Mortal Kombat on Super Nintendo. Good Times.

"I feel just like a local god when I'm with the boys, we do what we want"

Truth.

Scotch (no longer on rocks)

Because sometimes quietly enjoying a fine oak single malt scotch while listening to the crackling of a cuban rolled cigar just doesnt do it for you anymore. It's just isn't arrogant enough. You need to take it to the next level. But what does the man who has perfected arrogant, and written the book on smarmy do next. Accessorise, thats what. It's the reason a man pays an extra £30,000 for the carbon fibre trimmings on his new Aston Martin while using it as a town car, won't accept his Patek Philip losing more 1/100th of a second per day, and won't settle for anything less than the mose efficient and arrogant method of iceing his scotch. No longer will he be held back by plebeans and their cubes, spheres of ice are the man's way forward.

Last night over a cold fine oak 12 year with a friend I remembered McCallan's Ice Ball machine and how drinking my $13 scotch on cubes just made me feel cheap. And as I wiped the corners of my mouth clean with $100 notes I vowed to never do injustice to fine liquor again.

And that, kiddies, is how aweome is born, along with some kind of gravity and something about copper. I started reading how it works but was distracted by how good I was for drinking fine scotch with an ice sphere. If you don't follow, that's really good.

Bonerjams 2010

It's just a collection of the best boner scenes. Sorf of. I'm frothing on the Foals track Spanish Sahara off their new album (yes, I know I use the term 'new' very liberally but I live in a time warp of full time work and hangovers so I can be forgiven for being a little behing the times). Give the song time to build and you'll be in love, plus the visuals are mesmerising. Come to think of it I could repalce 'song' with 'strippers' and still be right. WIN.



You just got a boner at the 4:14 mark didn't you?! Prepare for a full on chubb. The radical track has been used as the soundtrack to the new Entourage Season 7 trailer.



FROTHING.

Dark and Dawn

We all have that one friend who is always up on the trends. Probably the first guy to start wearing skinny jeans and cardigans in 2005, moved onto a pair of point toe leather shoes, maybe even a waistcoat in there at some stage. Equally at home in a tall tee and kicks as a pair of tailored chino's and dress shirt. But all this time you're wondering 'Where the fuck does this guy get the money for all this?'. The answer, my friends, is probably blowjobs. It's the foundation of our economy, if only there were more blowjobs we could move on from all this 'recession' business. But I digress.

Next time your scenester mate stops next to you on his fixie (coincidentally the moment you realise that your friend has finally gone too far), flash some of your new man jewelery and push him down a steep hill and watch his shock/jealousy/fuck I wish I had brakes face. Man jewelery is a 'thin ice' subject. As is it's application, one wrong step and it's 'DJ Pauly D in the house' as you realise that rosary beads and dog tags were definately the wrong choice. The right choice, if I may, is this collection from Dark and Dawn from Tyler Durtschi in LA.

This stuff definately deserves the title of radical. Simplicity in design and execution (...insert joke about my game with the ladies last weekend...). Yeah, just like that.

Bandwagon(ing)

What's going on in the world at the moment? I'll tell you what... Sinkholes, smoking babies (classic), and world cup fever. I'll be the first to admit, I don't follow football, but will definately attempt to watch some of the matches, which makes me a prime candidate for 'bandwagon nube 2010'. But thats fine, the world cup is the base line, not the melody of this post (I also like music, ladies).

Today I ran across one of the best idea's I've seen for fan merchandising. Which inherently means that it will be cool and entertaining for a very brief period of time then become annoying, just like the bandwagon. You can't tell me that there wouldn't be a million photo's of you and your mates in these shirts pissed off your nut in South Africa if this was your home team.

Advertising School: Willem de Kooning Academie, Rotterdam, The Netherlands

Creatives: Bas van de Poel, Daan van Dam
Photographer: Milan Daniels

Awesome ideas like this are so simple that you always think 'I could totally have done that', while the only difference between you and these two Dutch dudes is, and it's a very small fact, that you didn't. The flip side of being out-thought by a bunch of clog wearing windmill fanatics with a simple idea is that it inspires us to give it a go. Flip side again, I'd put money on a 5-minute wave of inspiration followed by a seriously prolonged session of XBox. If in an hour I'm right, you owe me a high-5.

One last note on the bandwagon(ing), obviously the faces on these tee's are fairly notable Dutch soccer stars, but I wouldn't have the foggiest who the are, but I can guarantee they have the word 'van' or 'vaan' somewhere in their names and have smoking hot wives. Because thats how stereotyping works.

EDIT: On re-reading I went back and changed 'soccer' to 'football'. Point proven