Is it just me or is the string back bikini the hottest thing on a girl at the beach?! In saying this there are several pre-determined conditions:
A) The girl must be tanned, I cannot stress this enough. For importance of tanning consult my good friend at Six Foot 9 and Alen at A Lense Diary (excuse his radical 80's name). Both of these knowlegable fellas may as well be the honarary Deans of Tan University (TANU) for their contributions to the cause, if such a position or university existed (it would probably be located at Mid Curl Curl car park). Their motto is 'Tan or Die', or 'Tan and Die', one of the two, I'm not quite sure.
B) The girl must be a nugget (for more information on nuggets, go back in your mind to 1992, re-watch Encino Man, then we'll continue). Pauses... looks at watch... [smirk] I KNOW RIGHT?! [high 5].
This attire is not complimentary on just any beachgoing lady. On many it may look like you're trying to cut clay with the protective plastic still on the outside. To be clear, must be a beach nug to start with. I cannot stress this enough.
C) These are not necessary but definately help; tiny bikini bottoms, surfboard under arm (may also be skateboard), killer attitude.
Any girls who fit the bill may leave their number below. I'm going to go cry now because I'm missing Sydney summer.
I was informed by a relative last night that I blog about stuff overseas alot, when in reality theres so much to be stoked about in Sydney (as a side note, she also made me accutely aware that I'm a 23 year old dude living at home with my parents). So as a remedy to the first problem and a homage to the first, here's my favourite places in Sydney at the moment.
After divulging such info it's likely I won't be able to walk the hard streets of Sydney for a while (either due to the exclusive awesomeness of the information or my obviously inflated sense of self importance) and as such will be moving to New York, no biggie.
Suffice to say last weekend, being my last in Sydney, was a blinder and was full of all my favourite things (like Oprah's favourite things except all the audience gets is a hangover and scabs on their elbows). Let's do this.
Captain Billy's Crab Shack
Has to be my favourite shop in Bondi, seriously legit old school pool and cruiser skate decks, stocks Nike SB range, and there's an awesome Tee in there with a decal of a woman crying saying "If only my boyfriend would skate". Radical. If it's owner Lucienne Wunderlich is doing something wrong it's beyone me what it is. One of the mots picked up a beautiful Vision Gator pool deck from 1986 on sunday and we drove immediately to my new favourite skating hill to give it a session, long story short, he looked good. Stylin' even! Whats stylin' you ask? Take it away Mitch...
There's a clip thaty'll get a child star laid way into his late 20's/third stint in rehab. Well done sir.
Eau De Vie
I wouldn't mention this bar but apparently it's been written up as the some 'best hidden bar' or 'super secret find' or something lame in an SMH good food/drink guide so it isn't my fault if you see a guy there in a Zanerobe tee. Where to start, crystal scotch tumblers, private bottle lockers, the nice bloke who seats everyone, extensive cocktail knowledge, and the radical water dispenser. That being said the most important think you need to know about Eau De Vie is that he is your number 2 greaseman (number one sitting in my backyard bubbling away waiting to strike). If you don't know what I mean you're probably not one of my readership of 7.
Yum Cha
Every one has their favourites, like asking Californians about mexican food, or New Yorkers about pizza, Yum Cha is one of the things I'll miss most about Sydney, some seriously efficient asian. Sea Treasure in Crown Nest know what they're doing, as do the brothers from other (asian) mothers down at the Fish Markets. But if you find that at 2am you have a drunken hankering for some MSG head on down to Golden Century near Chinatown and ask the 'eldest statesmen' to sort you out. Perhaps even cover yourself in moist towelettes and profess that you 'can't even see', because no matter what state you enter in you'll exit happy.
Spank Records
Just off Taylors Square, I only went to spank for the first time on the weekend. Rolling past the punters still kicking on from the night before, past the homeless dudes asking for change looking jeasously at the messed up punters, and into a haven of radical unheard tunes. A vinyl shop with decks up set up for personal listenig is a great way to lose an hour. I don't profess to have a great musical knowledge but I do like good music. So although I didn't see one name I knew, the staff notes on the dust covers were a good guide, 'spacey dub with vinyl scratching. nice' definately put me onto a good one.
That's enough for now, not because I'm over typing, but because I'm am at my job gettin paid, and here's a free tip; they don't pay me to blog, no matter how much this will later be referred to as the new new testament. Haters gonna hate.
I'll leave you with some pics of a truly monumental skate that was indulged in on saturday that involved pissing off many cab drivers. First up we have a mot getting a nice little boardwalk barrel with fresh vinyl in hand. Killer saturday.
In other news, St James church has got some seriously smooth paving out front for those with wheels 80dpi and softer.
Finally, the ever elusive land barrel, watch this space, soon to be a major national sport.
Because it's sunday, and we all know what that means. The divisive day, the day of hangovers and church, that day before hell starts again, the day for recapping, the day for afternoon beers and golf. Sunday is the day of optimism where a man can be whatever he wants to be, old friends get together and act like they were 12 again while young kids fail to relalise the importance of the day that will later mean so much. I looked up 'Sunday' in the textbook of life and saw the play-by-play of morning coffee, midday skate (with a few cheeky car barrels coming soon), and afternoon golf overlooking the beach. Gold star for me.
Sunday throwback tunes, because I also had some time to mine through the ever growing music library.
Sunday's just the day for appreciating life. Speaking of which
I know what you're going to say but it's already too late. 'A guest blogger, you must be crazy, don't dilute this stream of awesomeness with an outside influence'. But never fear humble and extremely loyal readers, this posts collaboration comes in the form of some audio/visual delights from none other than the lady killing, cocktail chillin, half head shavin, celeb blog bravin, moon man. I'm just assuming the number of people who frequent this here awesome blog is somewhere between 7-8 in which case you all know who I'm talking about. If no, move to Sydney and join our group of mates, hangovers are shared, banter is A grade, so are the ladiessss*, and if you did your math right earlier you'll know there's a midget in the group.
Anywho, this little gem brings together the three creative forces I've been enjoying recently, as can be seen below, illustration, good tunes, and hot chicks (because a beautiful woman is a work of art, wink face).
*Quality of ladies is subject to change at anytime without notification from Revere The Radical management. No responsibility is taken for stress/friends razz caused by association with sub par ladies.
Because we all feel a little introverted sometimes. Because have we all not wondered what it would be like to dabble in auto-erotic asphyxia? It's the little things in life, the falling leaf, the single tear, the broken heart, the unsighted friend mouthing "what the fuck?!"
Check out the gents chowing down on some hefty barrels sin board. NOM NOM NOM. Seems Mike 'The Wizard' Stewart is pretty handy without that cooler lid he carries around.
Excuse the cropped video. No idea how to resize that bad boy. But lucky for you they're surfing Pipe so they'll only be heading left. You'll only lost sight of them when they get (as Brucy would say) 'soooooo deep in the barrel, it's amazing they come out the other side'.
At first I was bored, then I was into the tune, then I kept wanting to watch the guy draw longer, it's mesmerising. If had this guys artistic talent and choice in music I'd be way more scene than I currently am, and probably wear way tighter jeans. I may even move out of my parents house and live with artistic like-minded friends, who knows, stranger things have happened.
